Unworthy Of This Comfort
by LifelessApril
Summary: He fell in love and he did mistakes. Abby is there, but he feels unworthy of her comfort. What if he is not? Oneshot.


A/N: Yup, this is one-shot of Tabby for my dear friend smush68 because I ended the last story so quickly. LOL Heads up!

Throughout the day he had been happy, shocked, tired, exploded, and heartbroken. He was down in the dumps and it was his fault. He wished he never felt anything. He wished he couldn't feel a damn thing. He wished he stepped down when he started feeling something. But he didn't and now the girl's heart along with his was broken and he knew that it would haunt him for a long time.

His team tried their best to make him feel better and at least to make him smile and he thought to do them a favor and smile, but they knew better… This was a fake smile that Abby had noticed and pointed it out.

No one was there now, so he forced himself to work, glancing at the letter he received that day by Jeanne, now and then. He wanted to take a break, to vanish into thin air. He wanted to go where she was, but he had to choose his fake life over his real one. She wanted him to be Tony Dinardo and not Anthony Dinozzo. Just leave everything and everyone else behind. Job, house, car, badge, gun, Gibbs, McGee, Ziva, Abby… Their smiles, hugs, laughs, company, family… She wanted him to leave his family behind and their warmth along with it. Maybe someday if his feelings were strong enough, maybe he would. Not now, though, this was not the right time.

It was time that he thought he should call it a night. He had no strength to continue. So, he packed his gear, closed his computer and headed to the elevator. He did not want to go home, though, because all the memories would come back to him and he was not in the mood to start drinking now. Maybe going to his ''other home'' would help him take his mind off things.

He pushed the button down to Abby's lab. This was his other home. The only place he felt comfortable than in any other place. He felt more safe there, safer from the shadows of his past. Maybe even safer than his own home. It was Abby's ''shell''. He could always feel her around him even when she wasn't there. He could always feel happier just by imagining her there.

The doors opened and he walked in Abby's lab. Only the light of the ballistics lab was on and it was extremely dim, almost faded. It would flicker now and then and he looked around at her equipment. He always wondered how she would do everything and be able to remember. Somehow, he admired her. She was genius, but many people hurt her a lot in her past, so he didn't exactly envy her life. He got startled when he saw her in the ballistics lab. What was she doing there? Then he realized that she was changing and she took her top off. She was…beyond breathtaking. Tony knew that very well and that's why he strived so much in the past to make her his and he succeeded. He was trying to catch his breath desperately and she looked back at him. He blushed, he actually got red, whereas she quickly got out. That tattoo at her back was like art, it was amazing, it suited her a lot. She wasn't a bra either, he got amazed by how her breasts could really be supported without wearing a bra at all. That was something that only Abby could successfully achieve. His trail of thought got disrupted when she spoke.

''Eavesdropping, Tony?'' She smirked.

''Nah, you wish!'' He winked at her.

She grinned. Abby might have looked and reacted like a little girl, but she was a mature woman, deep inside. With her sensitive spots, her curves, her smirks and naughty self. He knew that side of hers quite well.

''How have you been?'' She worriedly looked at him.

He went and squatted down at the fridge and sat there. ''I'm trying to manage…''

She sighed. She hated to see him like that. When Dinozzo was like that then it could never feel right…

''I'm sorry…you fell hard for her, didn't you?'' She looked down on him and sat beside him.

He nodded. ''Oh, you can't imagine…I would even propose to her…''

She looked down. In a way, she was jealous that Jeanne was the only one who made Dinozzo fall that much in love. Making a womanizer fall in love with someone is extremely way too hard. It was something Abby could never achieve. That's why at some point she gave up on trying to do that. She wished that someone loved her like that. She wished that she would have been that special to someone like Tony.

Tony looked at her. ''What's up with you?''

She shook her head and smiled. ''Nothing, I'm good, I just don't like watching my best friend be like this…it feels wrong…'' Heh, best friend, nice one, Abby.

He smiled and made her look at him. ''Don't worry about me. I can manage. I'm actually thinking of taking a break.''

She gasped and looked at him. ''What do you mean?''

''I think I'll accept that offer that Jenny made to go to Rota.''

She was the only person who knew about Rota. She was the only person that he trusted enough to talk about it.

''Does that mean that you'll never come back?'' Tears were forming in her eyes, but he didn't notice.

He laughed quietly. ''I will come back, sweetheart. Just…not anytime close to the current year…Only if I ask from Jenny to bring me back…''

She looked down again, letting a single tear roll down her cheek. He didn't know, but…he was extremely important to her. He was her world…

When he looked at her, she immediately hugged him tight, kissing his cheek again and again and crying repeatedly. He got worried when he heard her and she couldn't stop.

''Abby…no, no, baby…Don't cry…I'm begging you…''

She kept crying…

Was he worth of this comfort? Of course he was not. He knew Abby was in love with him, yet he had no problem rekindling the flame with Jeanne. In his eyes, he was unworthy of this comfort…HER comfort…

She kept hugging him. ''I won't let you go anywhere…Please, stay…Remember what you told me? Remember what you told me when we first met?''

_**FLASHBACK**_

''_**Hi, I'm Abigail Sciuto, but if you ever call me Abigail, I'll kill you…''**_

_**He laughed. He thought she was gorgeous…she was nice, she had an amazing sense of humor; she was exactly his league…**_

''_**Okay, then, my lady…You won't get rid of me that easy.'' He smirked and she smiled.**_

She wouldn't be rid of him that easy. He would always be around. He always was, up until now that he wanted to leave.

She looked right into his eyes. ''Remember that night…?''

_**FLASHBACK.**_

_**They had spent the night together. Sex was mind blowing, for her it was not only sex, it was love.**_

''_**Tony? What am I to you?''**_

_**He looked down at her in his arms. ''My best friend.''**_

_**She bit her lip. ''Maybe…lover…? Maybe…?''**_

_**He smirked. ''Maybe someday, princess…''**_

_**And held her close whereas she widely smiled.**_

Maybe someday…that was the key word that she kept from everything he said. Whenever he was down at the lab, she kept looking at him, thinking maybe someday…His endless relationships, though, kept reminding her that this someday would never come.

He nodded. ''Maybe someday?''

She nodded, closing her eyes.

He went to kiss her, to kiss the lips he had been longing for a long time now. He cupped her cheeks, but when he went to kiss her, he shook his head and turned away. ''I can't…''

She opened her eyes slowly, looking at him, biting her lip. ''Why?''

''Because, Abs, I'm not worth your tears...not worth your kisses and certainly not worth to be in your life.''

She gasped and got mad. ''If anyone is worth to be in my life, it's you! I only want you! I want you, I need you! Please, baby, please…I am in need of you. I kept waiting…maybe someday…I've been waiting for 5 years! I've been waiting….''

She could not keep talking anymore. She broke down in tears again. He looked at her, as if he killed the most important person in his life. He cupped her cheeks and kissed her passionately.

Maybe…just maybe…he truly was worthy of her comfort…


End file.
